Sorry Zelda, I’m busy. Cooking.

I’ll be the first to admit that I’m not the best at video games. Sometimes I just play them the exact opposite of how they’re meant to be played, like taking a Mario Kart route backwards just to see how everything looks like going the wrong way. When there’s a boss fight, or any inkling of confrontation, my hands get kinda sweaty and my heart rate goes up. I get too nervous to play anything where you have to be constantly watching your back. I do, however, like the new Legend of Zelda game! Big confession: it’s the first LoZ I’ve ever played, except for the 10 minutes I spent wandering around in Ocarina of Time on the N64, not knowing what the heck I was doing. I love open world games, and hoo-boy this is a slam dunk. I’ve gotten lost, gotten my butt kicked, gotten the life scared out of me by those octo-dudes throwing rocks at me from the river (RUDE!), but mostly, I’ve wasted a lot… and I mean a lot… of Zelda’s time.

That poor girl has been waiting for me to come destroy Ganon, but here’s an honest look at how I’m playing the game:


I can’t help it. I take on every quest that people give me. I’ve always been that way. All these people need my help! Plus, who knows what kind of awesome thing they might give me. If I play a game, I want to play it as close to 100% completion as I can, so you bet your Hylian butts I’m going to do all these quests for you. And Zelda… well, she’s been holding up fine for the past hundred years. She can wait while I pick up some freaking mushrooms. And flowers. And gems. And fairies. And collect weapons… sorry Zelda.

For this cover, I snagged the original photo from a Eurogamer article comparing the American and European covers for the game. I chose the American version. I think it looks more dramatic, and I liked how the pale color of the title contrasted with the dark grassy rock in the foreground. The font I used is The Wild Breath of Zelda from (I guess she hasn’t had time to brush her teeth.) Click on through the gallery for the steps I went through to remake the cover.

I did end up moving my text around to even out the space between each line of text, as well as adding an ellipsis on the second line. Afterward, I cropped the picture so that only the actual game cover was left – no more keep case.